Caveman Jam

This is not easy for me.
Usually I do not just open up on a canvas or medium such as this.
Maybe the occasional myspace blog but nothing this "regular".
Hopefully I can unravel long enough to catch myself on a computer screen.

Its been 10 long agonizing months since I last enjoyed the oppritunity of having a relationship.
10 months.
Just thinking about it hurts my head.
But why not just chill out?
Thats my problem.
I cannot just chill out.
I seem to be incapable of such unless I am under the influence of medication like the ones they gave me after my surgery. (which I will have an update later on)
But thinking about all the possibilties and how much I want things to work with you hurt.
Seriously I have tried and not tried.
But no matter how much I show people I care or be myself I still seem to get disappointed or just plain stiffled by the simple fact that I am alone.
This has got to get better right?
Well I find out that you are just fooling with me.
You are not who I thought you were.
You are not that great person I thought you were.
You disappoint me.
You just fooling with my like im your pawn.
And I say this with all due respect-- STOP SCREWING WITH ME!
Now as I turn my focus to something else or someone else I should say my mind just fills with anger.
You do realize you are destroying what made people happy by your selfish stupidity.
You are such a coward.
You act as if I am not good enough for you.
And whatever is what I say.
Screw you!
Screw your selfish ways, I hope you have a nice life being manipulative and absolutely disgusting you antagonistic punk!
Continuing from that I hope you have a nice day.
This blog will be updated "regularly" or whatever.
I must say I wish you the best and God Bless you.